Alpha and Omega: Keeping in Touch

Your very own love doctors

Your very own love doctors

Guess who’s back?! The Flame’s very own anonymous love doctor-duo returns this year to continue saving desperate teenagers in need of relationship advice. This weeks concern:

“I used to like this girl, but then I had to leave to another school, and I kept in touch with her because I still liked her. However, I haven’t seen her in real life for a while and I am feeling that I am inclined to similar girls at my school, and I sort of hate myself for doing that. I don’t know what to do…”

Alpha: Did I write this in my sleep? I sympathize this from the very bottom of my heart. So, to start out, I had the exact same experience with you, not a single detail different. And just as I did, you will find out keeping in touch with someone you used to like (or still like) is a tough job because you absolutely have no idea what she’s been through that day or that week, and it just becomes really difficult to come up with a topic to keep the conversation going. And sometimes you will think “man, why am I so pathetic?” What I used to do when I was running out of topics is, when you receive a message in Facebook or in any kind of messenger, you can see the very last message of the sender, and only by reading that, I would try to predict or even think of a funny answer that would keep the conversation going. And simply add that the late reply was due to eating/ dozing off. What I want to say is that nothing will make you pathetic, as long as you don’t overdo it; there is nothing to be afraid of. I am sure the girl will soon notice your effort to continue the conversation.

Omega: Alpha, cut some introduction.

A: ….fine, I’ll hand it over,

O: Alright, lets jump to the main issue; yeah, I have been in a similar situation, I know exactly how you feel. You like a person, and I am sure some of your friends know that you still like her and you try to keep contact with them. But then you start to feel a little lonely with all the crush stuff.  Then you start to see other people differently, it might be your table buddy or a CAS member or even your best girl-human-friend. And you feel like you are betraying your crush and you might even  feel like your friends who know your secret will think of you as a jerk. But don’t worry so much, that’s perfectly normal and ok.  The fact that you are asking for consultation for such an issue means you really really like this girl, and at this very moment, it just warms my heart to know that such relationship exists.

A: I will tell you how I resolved mine: until I met them the year after they left, I thought (or tried to convince myself that) I wasn’t head-over-heels for them but I was head-over-heels for their“features” and with some time, I had come to believe it was true; that I was just attracted to their“shoulder length hair”, or “short height”, ir “disappearing-eye smile”. But when I met themduring vacation, I realized everything was wrong. I was head-over-heels for “them” not their “features”. So what I want to tell you is, this is a problem many long-distance relationships go through and quite often a simple picture helps you get rid of all these thoughts and actually meeting them just refreshes your feelings for that person. So don’t regret later and stick to your true feelings.